BEGIN WITH A COMPELLING PURPOSE:
The World Database of Happiness (yes, there is one) says Iceland is one of the happiest places on earth. That’s right, Iceland. And Yes, I know it’s cold and dark six months out of the year. I’m just giving you the data.
Do you think it might be a helpful perspective to find out what the secret to their happiness might be? Research has indicated that a primary factor is that their culture does not stigmatize failure.
Icelanders, therefore, are not afraid to fail — or to be imperfect — and so they seem to be more willing to pursue what they enjoy.This seems to make them incredibly productive. They don’t just sit around thinking they’d like to do something. They do it.
Perfectionists, on the other hand, seem to have difficulty starting new things and an even harder time finishing them due to any possibility failure.
In Iceland, if you think you’re good at something, whether or not you are, you’ll do it, with little or no hesitation. Digging deeper we find that being unsuccessful in Iceland is viewed as feedback, not the end. I find it very interesting that just a shift in perspective can have such an impact on feeling good and stepping out.
Hesitation in every aspect of life is usually due to either internal shame from a mentally speculated possible failure or the unwillingness to become vulnerable. These are major life limiters in the U.S. because we tend to not respect people who put everything on the line and are unsuccessful. Not surprisingly, we also tend to apply this stigma of failure to all our relationships, career and job development, and just growing as an individual. For more research and perspective on shame, vulnerability and resilience, read Daring Greatly, by Bren Brown, as a starter.
How do we move beyond these limiters? First, check your motivations, attitudes, knowledge base and skills. If they seem good, (not perfect), then begin to build a plan. If you are unsure of your competencies, build a plan that includes upgrading your competencies. The first and most important component of your plan must be clarifying your compelling purpose or motivation to engage in this activity. When spoken aloud, your purpose must generate ‘energy-in-motion up and down your spine’, to be labeled as compelling. If you need help with this read, Start with Why, by Simon Sinek. The clarity of trajectory and specific milestones within the evolving plan will increase your energy of confidence, grow your energy of certainty about who you are and what value you offer, and help you share your energy of enthusiasm with every person you meet. These are three key energies that will move you beyond the self-limiters of shame and vulnerability and the increase your success probability.
What is taking you so long to do what you love?
If you happen to be one who has the desire and intentions, but do not believe that they are good enough to be successful, it might be a good time to contact Spectrum Coaching® to guide you through a process which can move you beyond these internal fears of shame, vulnerability and failure, by help to turn up your energies of confidence, certainty and enthusiasm. Get busy.